A top-performing sales rep recently told me this when I asked if he'd given his manager a heads-up about job hunting. The fear in his voice was genuine, but the logic was just wrong.

The Fear Is Real (But Misplaced)

So I get that telling your boss you're looking elsewhere feels scary. The paranoia kicks in: "They'll make my life hell," "I'll be first on the redundancy list," "They'll escort me out immediately."

But here's the thing most people get wrong: No manager wants to lose their best people. Full stop.

Why Good Managers Don't Want You Gone

Think about it from your boss's perspective. You're a high performer. You know the systems, the clients, the quirks of how things actually get done. Replacing you means months of recruitment, onboarding, and watching someone new make all the mistakes you've already learned from.

Your manager isn't sitting there plotting your demise, they're probably wondering how they can possibly keep you.

What Really Happens When You're Honest

When you tell a decent manager you're exploring options, three things typically happen:

They listen. Really listen. Because losing you would be a proper pain in the arse, and they want to understand what's driving you away.

They explore solutions. Maybe it's money, maybe it's progression, maybe it's that you're bored senseless and you need a different challenge internally. Good managers will try to fix fixable problems.

They respect your transparency. Even if they can't match what you're being offered, they appreciate not being blindsided.

The Counter-Offer Reality Check

Here's where it gets interesting. That conversation might reveal opportunities you didn't know existed. Maybe there's a promotion in the pipeline, a project that's perfect for your skills, or budget for training you've been wanting.

Or maybe they can't compete with the offer, but they'll help you transition properly and keep the door open for future opportunities. That's called being professional, and it pays dividends down the line.

The Art of the Conversation

This is about having an adult conversation:

"Out of respect I wanted to let you know I'm exploring some external opportunities. I've really valued working here, but I'm looking at what's next for my career. I'm also open to hearing whether there might be ways to grow my role here as well."

Professional, honest, and it gives everyone options.

When Not to Tell (Because There Are Exceptions)

Look, not every manager is reasonable. If your boss is genuinely vindictive, has a track record of pushing people out, or if your company has a policy of immediately terminating job hunters, then you need to protect yourself first.

But if you respect your manager and they've been decent to you? Don't repay that with a blindside resignation.

The Relationship Preservation Game

Here's the long-term play: industries are smaller than you think. That manager you're worried about upsetting? They might be at your dream company in two years. The colleague you worked well with? They could be the hiring manager for your next role.

Burning bridges feels satisfying for about five minutes. Preserving professional relationships pays dividends for decades.